Monday, April 5, 2010

Reasons for M.I.A. (but i don't think anyone noticed)

The last part of the title was not to be self-depricating. I know I'm still new to this and haven't posted much so it could be easy to over look my "blogging existence" and I'm okay with that. Anyway, I've been M.I.A. because I haven't had anything to "talk" about and I want to be more intentional with what I do "talk" about. So, I've been actually trying to think about what I "say" before I "say" it so that I don't ramble or just "talk"out of my feelings. Which, I easily do and want to work on. So, I think thats only one reason for being M.I.A. but its still the reason. I wrote out a post on Friday and it was VERY therapuetic and exhausting for me to actually process everything out on paper and realize what I do want to share with you guys about the things that have been going on lately, but then I forgot to bring it to the library today. (typical) And my husband, so wise and discerning as he is, acutally brought out more of the root of the issue I was wanting to share. (even more typical)
It's so interesting to try and go the deep waters of my heart because many times when I try to do this I think my "lungs" will explode for lack of "air" or clarity as I try to search deeper and deeper. Sometimes I have to come back to the surface and trust the Lord to reveal the depths of my heart in His time and then other times He allows me to dive deeper and deeper in my heart to find out whats really going on. Most of the time I don't want to process the depths of my heart because its going to be painful or confusing, but I'm thankful that God always has a purpose in pain and exposing my sin. His purposes of love and growth do give me hope and I'm thankful for that.

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