"... neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord"

Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

I know I just wrote a light-hearted post about my pregnancy, but I don't feel light-hearted today.

Today I'm really sad for someone close to me and struggling to understand God's ways.
She found out yesterday that she lost her baby. Her long-awaited, much prayed for, years trying for baby. We all were convinced that this baby, her baby, was a miracle baby and therefore wouldn't be taken away. God had FINALLY allowed her to conceive so he definitely wouldn't take the baby away. He wasn't suppose to do this. He was suppose to let her have this baby. This doctor's visit was suppose to be a good one where afterward we could FINALLY shout from the mountain tops about His miracle. Why would God take away a miracle, his miracle?

I just don't understand.
I am reeling with confusion, anger, and sadness over lost hopes that were beginning to glimmer with possibility.

Then the Spirit gently leads me and reminds me of Isaiah 55:8-9. The Spirit reveals to me that I have been leaning on my own understanding and assuming God to to work like I expect him to work, but that isn't the case today. I know God is Sovereign and I NEED God to be Sovereign over my life, her life, and all of life. I know God wrote and numbered her baby's days perfectly from the beginning of time. He knew when we didn't know that he would take her baby 3 weeks ago, but that she wouldn't find out till yesterday. He knew and said it was best this way. I have to and need to yield to God's ways and thoughts because I need them right now to get through this and do anything I can to help her get through this.

Through my sadness I am glad that his truth remains firm and I am holding on to it, but I am also still just sad over all that was taken yesterday from this life.

Table for Two

It's happened! My belly has become a table for two! Neil was amazed when he saw me resting my cup of milk on my belly while I ate my cookies the other night. Hey, whatever works, right? I think it is rather convenient and can't wait till the "table" gets bigger!

I start 25 weeks tomorrow! I have been feeling Natalie move more and more and even am woken up some nights/early mornings with her kicks and rolls! I think I may have an early bird on my hands- just like her daddy. I am not an early bird so it will be interesting to see what takes place! I went shopping last week with my Mother-in-law and two of my sisters-in-law and bought Natalie MANY cute items. I was so excited and felt like I got a pretty good deal on some good quality clothes. I fell in love with the Carter's store! I became obsessed with shopping for Natalie about two weeks ago, but held off till I went with the family last week. I'm sure there is a good chance we will get many cute items from other people, but I began to worry that she wouldn't have some "essentials" that I would like for her to have, such as pants. She will be a winter baby and I became sad at the thought that her poor legs would freeze because no one bought her pants! Plus, I became anal about her having certain kinds that I wanted her have: colors and material that I can mix and match. I'm sure it was all for naught, but I think my "mommy mode" kicked in and I wanted to take care of her and have fun picking out certain things for her that I know I like because its all about me, right?

We go to the doctor on Monday and I start the blood sugar tests. I remember being the doctor's office with other pregnant women who were there for their test and I remember thinking, wow, 20-something weeks seems SO far away, they are almost done with their pregnancy! That's where I'm at right now, but it doesn't seem like I'm that far!!! Well, I think that is all I have for now.

Nesting Season

Well, its official. I've entered the Nesting Season of my pregnancy!!!! Actually I entered it a few weeks ago, but I've been so busy I haven't been able to write about it. The urge to organize and clean areas of our house, especially Natalie's room, washed over me like a tidal wave! It was/is a major transition for me because I'm NOT a big organizing/cleaning buff, just ask friends who have lived with me, and my husband. I like things to be clean, but I may not notice that things need to be cleaned until they are pretty messy or cluttered. I think I have gotten better since being married and life has settled down, but I'm still not inclined towards cleaning and organizing. So this new found inclination/ slight obsession with organizing is shocking for me and the tricky thing is that I can't really clean and organize Natalie's room yet because we need to have a yard sale first! We are scheduled to have a yard sale Oct. 1st so until then- when all junk/treasure will be gone from our home and her room- I am at a stand still and trying not to go crazy! I've been trying to do the little bit that I can and Neil has been SUPER helpful and willing to do things with me.

A few weeks ago, we spent part of our Friday night on a project that I had been too overwhelmed to finish. Do you remember when Neil cut down all those branches with poison ivy on them because I wanted to make a twig frame... Yeah, well the frame still hadn't happened, but we had new, poison ivy free twigs. Neil mentioned doing that project and so we tag-teamed it and finished it in an hour!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT and I had so much fun doing it with Neil. Here is the result!
This is in our laundry room- random place except that it's where we come into our house from the garage every day. p.s. Did I tell you guys we re-painted the laundry room- FINALLY! I like it much better now!

Next, we hung a painting that I have just painted in an oil painting class I took in July and August. A lady from my church teaches oil painting in her home once a week and I started taking classes and really enjoyed it! I hope to take the class again once we save up some more money for it. Neil has been really sweet and encouraging about the painting and was eager to hang it up in our living room! We hung it up this past week and he has been enjoying it since.

Last, but not least is a picture of the chaos in Natalie's room that I can't wait to get under control!!!!! (Actually it's one view of the room, there is a little more chaos behind the door and I didn't have time to get a picture of it.)

Wish us luck on getting everything cleaned out before January!