Wednesday, September 21, 2011

"... neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord"

Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

I know I just wrote a light-hearted post about my pregnancy, but I don't feel light-hearted today.

Today I'm really sad for someone close to me and struggling to understand God's ways.
She found out yesterday that she lost her baby. Her long-awaited, much prayed for, years trying for baby. We all were convinced that this baby, her baby, was a miracle baby and therefore wouldn't be taken away. God had FINALLY allowed her to conceive so he definitely wouldn't take the baby away. He wasn't suppose to do this. He was suppose to let her have this baby. This doctor's visit was suppose to be a good one where afterward we could FINALLY shout from the mountain tops about His miracle. Why would God take away a miracle, his miracle?

I just don't understand.
I am reeling with confusion, anger, and sadness over lost hopes that were beginning to glimmer with possibility.

Then the Spirit gently leads me and reminds me of Isaiah 55:8-9. The Spirit reveals to me that I have been leaning on my own understanding and assuming God to to work like I expect him to work, but that isn't the case today. I know God is Sovereign and I NEED God to be Sovereign over my life, her life, and all of life. I know God wrote and numbered her baby's days perfectly from the beginning of time. He knew when we didn't know that he would take her baby 3 weeks ago, but that she wouldn't find out till yesterday. He knew and said it was best this way. I have to and need to yield to God's ways and thoughts because I need them right now to get through this and do anything I can to help her get through this.

Through my sadness I am glad that his truth remains firm and I am holding on to it, but I am also still just sad over all that was taken yesterday from this life.

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