Quasi-Moto

One thing I REALLY love about my husband is that he encourages the crafty side of me. He supports my ideas and encourages me to put them into action, helps me think through how to do them well and willingly helps and pushes me to do them! Even at his own expense!

I'm working on a current craft project for our house. It isn't a big project but it requires twigs and sticks. So the best place to get them is obviously outside. Well Sunday Neil noticed that a small tree in our neighbors' yard had fallen down. PRIME OPPORTUNITY for free twigs and sticks! So we asked our neighbors, who we are friends with, if we could take some of their branches. With weird looks they said of course. So Neil went away hacking off a lot of the twigs and branches. He was all over the tree and we gathered a lot of branches that would be good to use.

Well on Monday night we were eating dinner at a friend's house and I noticed that his eye looked a little swollen, but it was hard to tell. I asked him if his eye itched because it looked swollen and he said, "Yes it does and this bug bite on my wrist itches too!..." He went to the bathroom and when he came back he said... "Yeah, its not a bug bite... I have poison ivy." Poor guy it ALL OVER his face and spots on his arms, legs, and back!!!!!!! The bumps just kept coming up throughout the night! We stopped at CVS on our way home and got some generic benedryl to hopefully help stop the swelling. The next morning he looked pitiful!!!!!!! His eyes were pretty swollen, but not swollen shut and his other spots were pretty big. He went on to work, but once there several of his co-workers told him to go to a walk-in clinic and get it checked out. So that afternoon he went to a clinic. It was confirmed that it was poison oak and they gave him steroid shot in the butt. The next day he was all better! Seriously, all swelling gone, very few bumps, and no itching!!!!!!!!

Guess we've got to come up with a new plan and new twigs!

This is also not the first time he has had it on his face. When he was younger he got it MUCH worse ALL over his face. I have pictures to prove it, but I couldn't get them on here.

I couldn't resist taking pictures because he did look like quasi-moto from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. He grudgingly let me take pictures and he knew I was taking them so I could post them on here! I love him!

Guardian of Hope

One of my best friends, Lacy, asked me over a year ago this question that I have chewed on since she asked me:

"How has your mom's death changed you"?

I think at the time I answered her the best I could with what I truly believed. This question has popped back in my mind throughout this past year and in the fall I think I started to gain some clarity on at least one way my mom's death changed me. I can't remember what I told Lacy at the time so I could be repeating myself, but hopefully my thoughts are more clear this time around.

My mom's death changed me as death changes anyone who experiences it closely and 'too early'-though when is it the 'right time' or 'late' to lose someone. Through my mom's death God shattered my view of the world, life, and His Sovereignty. Through the years I have learned that death happens and hurts because we live in a fallen, sinful world. I learned that this world and life is not my home. Because of Jesus my home is in heaven and I really am an 'alien and stranger' here right now. I learned that all the expected patterns of life: marriage, stable family unit, children, grandchildren, security, and loving relationships, are not 'rights' that I 'deserve'. The only 'right' that I 'deserve' is hell, but God sent Jesus to take that 'right' from me and give me his 'right' of sinlessness and unity with God that he deserved because God loves and has mercy on me. I learned the reality of hopes deferred and dreams that don't come true in this life. I learned that I am THANKFUL that my hope isn't left to rest here in this life and world, but I have eternal hope in heaven with God where there is no pain, suffering, disappointments, or despair.

Before my mom's death, I was pretty naive about life and this world. After my mom's death, I became aware of and embraced this 'reality' that life is hard and we don't always get what we want and that is ok because God has better for us.

I think I have embraced the 'reality' a little too well, because while it is so good for us to realized the temporary-ness of this world, life, and our dreams, the sinful reaction of this 'reality' is bitterness and self preservation.

Through this trial of waiting for pregnancy and children I have been encouraged to 'Hope in the Lord'. While sometimes I can clearly see this truth and hope in him, there are times when this phrase feels impossible and trite. I realized that I believed that I couldn't hope in the Lord because I didn't trust him. He had hurt me and disappointed me before so why would it be a good idea to hope in him now? I really believe(d) that God is not for me. That God's love for will only be manifested in his discipline towards me, therefore my life will always be hard. I believed that if it seemed like God was possibly giving me a desire or answered prayer that he was only teasing me and wouldn't actually come through for me. So, I started to 'guard my hope'. I knew the world wasn't a friendly place for it, but I didn't think God was a friendly place either so the only option left was to 'guard' it for myself. I guarded my hope by facing 'reality' that I may not have children or get to 'grow old with Neil' or always be financially stable or any other fears and possibilities that come across my chaotic mind.I believed that by guarding my hope this way I was keeping myself from the crushing blows of disappointment and despair. But the truth is I found myself MORE despairing because I believed these things.

You know what else is true:

'My hope' isn't mine. Hope doesn't belong to me, I didn't create hope for myself. and I can't sustain it in my strength.
'My hope' is from God.
Psalm 62:5-8
⁵For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.⁶ He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.⁷On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.⁸ Trust in him at all times, O people pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.

God gave me hope because he loved me and sent Jesus to die for my sins so that I might know the hope of eternal life with him. God gave me hope so that I would have someone to give my hurts and disappointments to. God gave me hope so that I could have joy and fight for joy in all circumstances. God gave me hope so that I could trust him and believe that he is worthy and faithful to this trust. God gave me hope and God guards this hope in the surety of his Son

God opening my eyes to see that He is the one who gives hope and is hope revolutionizes my current active belief system. It really is hard for me to believe that God loves me and will give me good gifts without a trial attached, but I'm asking him for that faith. I'm choosing today to believe that I no longer have to guard hope alone, God has been faithful to give and guard it from the beginning! God has secured this hope in the fortified wall of His Son's death and resurrection. This hope can NOT be destroyed or stolen. Praise be to the God of our hope!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

Winfield Scott Lake

This past weekend we went camping with my grandparents and my aunt!!!!!!! Yes, I said my grandparents. They are still moving and kicking at 70. They were the ones with the plan to camp and we invited ourselves since they were going to be close by. We went to Winfield Scott Lake which is outside of Vogel State Park in Georgia. We had a GREAT TIME!!!!!! Here are the pictures to prove it!

Here we are hanging out by the campfire on Friday.











Neil and Chuck are cooking Hamburgers for dinner. Neil is fanning the flame so the fire will start! Neil is cooking bacon for breakfast. His first time to cook bacon! And probably his last because I don't like bacon and he wouldn't fix it just for himself.












Neil and I in front of our tent. Chuck, Jan, and I before Neil and I start back home.










Neil and I hiked up Blood Mountain- the highest point on the A.T.! It was about six miles round trip. This is me tired and hungry from the first part of the hike.










It was a great weekend and great weather except for chilly nights. I didn't think through the night temperatures when packing so I was pretty cold and wore all my clothes to bed both nights we camped. I was pretty cozy after that. I still smell like campfire (yes, this is after my shower) and the smell is permeating my car and our laundry room. I love the smell, but not that much! Wish me luck on getting this smell out!

Andrew Peterson

Last week Neil took me to see Andrew Peterson in concert!!!!! He was at a church here in our town doing a benefit concert for a family that is raising money to move overseas to be missionaries. Neil taking me to a concert is a PRETTY BIG DEAL! I really enjoy music and LOVED going to concerts and shows in college with friends. My friends and I use to go all the time, but then stopped as life got busier. I haven't been to a concert or show in three years, except for the Tommy Emmanuel show in February, but that doesn't count since I went along and wouldn't have naturally chosen to go. Anyway, I a music lover married a great man who could care less about music. To him it can be an unnecessary distraction that keeps you from intentional thought. Where I believe that music helps me think and draws my mind to the truth when I'm not able to draw those thoughts up myself. We basically agree to disagree right now in this area as neither of us are right or wrong in our views, but it is merely a preference issue. Before I got married I dreamed of having a home filled with music throughout the day. I dreamed of having the soft sound of worship music playing through out the day as I took care of the home and kids and oh how sweet that time would be! How calming, peaceful, and restful our home would be! However when I've shared this dream with Neil he doesn't see calm, peace, and rest. He sees chaos and distraction. I need to die to this dream because I do love my husband MORE THAN music, dreams, and preferences though I confess I do have to remind myself of this some days.

So anyway, you get the picture- Neil on his own choice taking me to a concert= BIG DEAL! He found out about the concert on his own by looking up Andrew Peterson and finding out he would be in town. He wanted to surprise me, but couldn't and told me at dinner one night in April that he wanted to take me and he bought the tickets and everything!!!! I am a new Andrew Peterson fan so it wasn't like this was a life long dream fulfilled to see him specifically in concert. I have heard of him on and off for years from several people, one being my best friend Lacy, but just never paid attention to what they were saying about him and his music. Then this past Christmas season when Neil and I were making our Christmas 2010 Melodies c.d. Andrew Peterson came to mind and we downloaded two of his songs. I also heard and enjoyed Dancing in the Minefields and told Neil about it.

To sum up the concert, it was BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! That is the word that kept coming to mind while we were listening to him play. I enjoyed his songs- the depth and beauty of the lyrics, and his stories about his life. I asked Neil afterwards what he thought. His quote, "I thought yeah man, this a great song... wait I don't know what he is talking about. What is he trying to say?" So, Neil liked him, but didn't really get his lyrics since they aren't completely straight forward and Neil is a pretty straight forward guy.

So there was our concert experience and I think Neil is willing to go to more since last night he asked me what other shows I'd like to go to!!!!!!!!