Irrelevant Tip

My husband and I still live in the stone age. I hand wash all our dishes. Yes, I stand at the sink and hand wash all our dishes from the day. Sometimes several times a day and sometimes I wait a day or two until I do them. We have a dishwasher, actually a fairly new dishwasher that came with the house, but we don't use it. We aren't morally against using the dishwasher, we just don't have enough dishes, especially bowls, to justify using the dishwasher. We can't fill it up fast enough without running out of bowls. While some people may reason to go buy more bowls, we haven't and don't plan on it. We don't need more bowls. We just need to wash the ones we have already.

So I am the human dishwasher. It doesn't hurt that I don't mind washing dishes. It is kind of therapeutic for me knowing that something is getting clean and seeing the product of my efforts.

Anyway, I'm writing about doing dishes because I wanted to share a tip that my neighbor unknowingly shared with me when we were discussing the fact that I don't use my dishwasher. She shared about how when she was a kid one of the chores she and her siblings shared was doing the dinner dishes. She hated when it was her turn because the kitchen was kind of closed off to the other main rooms in the house so she would miss out on whatever her family was doing after dinner. She said that her mom taught her how to wash the dishes most effectively thus cutting the amount of time she spent doing the dishes alone.

I like effective and efficient things, but to me the time it takes to think up the efficient way to do something makes the task not efficient. So I leave other people, like my husband, to think up the efficiency of a task and then willingly put their thoughts into action.

I realize that this tip will be pretty useless to about 90-95% of the population, but I thought I would share it anyway in case you ever do become the human dishwasher for a day or season in your life.

Here is an efficient tip if you are ever the human dishwasher in your home: If you have a lot of dishes, fill up your sink with soapy water. Then wash your least dirty dishes- glasses, cups, and silverware first. Then wash your somewhat dirty dishes- plates, bowls, serving bowls and plates. Lastly, wash your dirtiest dishes- pots and pans. This helps you wash the least dirty items with clean water and then by time you get to your pots and pans you don't care that the water will get super dirty because you will be done with dishes! This really does seem to help me when doing dishes because it makes me organized and that helps me go faster.

Also, another tip for laying your dishes to dry. I organize the dishes as I lay them to dry. I put all cups and glasses together, all silverware together, all plates and bowls together, all cooking utensils together, and all pots and pans together. I arrange it according to what goes in which cabinets or drawers that way when I go to put the dried dishes up I am putting away all the like items up at the same time. So I stack all my plates and bowls together because they are in the same cabinet. When I go to put them up when they are dry I only have to grab them and open up the cabinet once to put them away. Same with pots and pans and all the other dishes. It makes the clean up process SO much quicker because I'm not running around the kitchen opening and closing the same drawers and cabinets a ten times each.

I'm actually a little obsessive about stacking the dishes together while they dry (maybe its because I figured out the method on my own). My husband-the efficient one- teases me about my method, but I LOVE it and have to fight off frustration if the dishes aren't stacked together because it seems to make the put away process "longer". While, it does make it longer I know that its only maybe a minute longer and so not a big deal to most everyone.

Anyway, I was excited about finding what seemed to me a good method of doing dishes that I wanted to share it with you! Since I may be a little obsessed with the drying/organized method I took pictures (insert sheepishly nerdy smile.)

Confessions of a Wannabe

I wannabe someone who waits well for God's plan.
I wannabe someone who endures trials with joy.
I wannabe able to not annoy myself with my whining spirit.
I don't wannabe consumed with thoughts about pregnancy, diets, cycles, and if I am doing things right or wrong.
I don't wannabe weary and sad.
I wannabe experiencing depth and joy in my relationship with God.
I wannabe someone who has a regular monthly cycle.
I wannabe pregnant.
I wannabe able to get pregnant.
I wannabe able to understand what is going on in my body and how to fix it.
I wannabe successful with the diet.
I don't wannabe feeling isolated and alone.
I don't wannabe the one that is 'left out' again.
I wannabe-lieve that God could heal me and would want to heal me.

Here are my confessions of what I wannabe but I'm not. At least not today.

Neil and I are currently seeking the Lord on if we should continue the diet or not. At the beginning of our Christmas Break we started discussions about why we are on different pages when it comes to the diet. It's been going on for awhile, but our miscommunication was beginning to birth bitterness in my heart towards him. I think some of it was also that we had switched our roles in this area. I was leading the way with starting the diet since my body has PCOS and the diet effects my body. I was the one doing the research about the diet and PCOS. I was the one relating my research to Neil and I was the one who was receiving Neil's questions and skepticism about the research I had found. Then I was the one who shut down and felt alone and isolated because of the diet. This has been the broad cycle since August when we started the diet, though there have been times of unity throughout.

But now, Neil is leading the direction for our family in this area. We are both seeking God's word and praying for direction on the diet, but Neil will ultimately make the decision. I'm ready to submit and be united with my husband on the direction the Lord leads us. I'm ready to trust that the Lord is the only one who can give us children, not some man made diet, drugs, or treatments. Yes, I do believe that God can use those things as a means of his power and to accomplish his will, but I also believe that man (myself) can lean solely on his own understanding and trust in his own strength, intelligence, research, to try to make what he wants happen.

I think that is where I mostly find myself. I wannabe pregnant and this diet has seemed to work for other women so I also will go on this diet and it will fix my problems and give me what I want. I have idolized pregnancy and the diet as the only way I can get pregnant. I have died on the altar of my desires and my heart struggles to believe God.

But I refuse to die on this altar any longer. The idolatry of my desires, pregnancy, and the diet is not worth my marriage or my soul.

I feel like God is withholding from me because I haven't been believing in him for this desire. But then would that be a 'works-based' faith? If I believe that God could give me a baby, then God will give me a baby? I don't think that is right thinking. I confess that I do believe God could do it, but I don't believe God wants to.

Which is true. It could be God's very good and right will for me to never have children. In my head knowledge I know that never having children could be God's blessing to me, but in my heart it's hard to see it as a blessing. I'm not too worried about the state of my heart because I do believe that God will not let me go. The fact that I can say I do not want to die on the altar of my desires is evidence of God's grace and steadfast grip on my soul. I do believe that He will bring my heart to trust and hope in his good plan and I will rejoice in Him because he will be enough for me.

I picked up this book today from our bookshelf:

Shattered Dreams: God's unexpected pathway to joy
I've had it for a few years, but haven't read the whole thing. The introduction today was helpful and I'm trying to choose to believe that this expected pathway that God has for me right now will lead to joy. Here are a few excerpts that were helpful for me:

"God is not waiting to bless us after our troubles end. He is blessing us right now, in and through those troubles. At this exact moment, He is giving us what He thinks is good."
my confession: Today I'm not real fond of the blessing.

"We were created for happiness. Our souls therefore long for whatever we think will provide the greatest possible pleasure. We just aren't yet aware that an intimate relationship with God is that greatest pleasure."
oh, how easily and quickly I forget that my relationship with God is the greatest thing I will ever have and need!

I wannabe someone who doesn't forget that my 'light and momentary troubles are achieving for me and eternal glory that outweighs' all my trials!

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Christmas in our First House

I have no idea why I have been absent from this blog for a month! I've had several things I've wanted to write about, but never seemed to have the time to write. Today I'm getting a chance to do so because our plans were canceled because Neil is sick at home. I took care of him earlier this morning and he's feeling better now. I hope he continues to get better because it would be so sad to be sick over Christmas!

Anyway, I love Christmas and I love getting to decorate for Christmas! We don't have many decorations which is fine since we don't have much room to decorate, but I wanted to share with you our decorations. Here is our tree! Pre-lighted, hand me down from my dad. We only have enough ornaments to fill up the front of it! I can be tempted to want a full tree because 'thats they way it's suppose to be', but I'm thankful for our tree and it fits our life. This is our second married Christmas so it makes sense that we wouldn't have a lot. I cherish this is an example of us starting our lives together and establishing our traditions as a family. It also makes me chuckle that our tree is kind of bare! This is our family tree with ornaments I've grown up with and ones we've received as couple gifts or bought from our trips together as souvenirs. And I cherish that since we are starting out everything is small, simple, and maybe a little bare. The 'tree skirt' is a hand me down table cloth from a friend.


This is our homemade Nativity. It's also called a creche', but don't ask me how to pronounce it because I can't. We made this last Thanksgiving at Neil's parents' house. Neil's mom found instructions on how to make this and had all the stuff out for each of us to make one as a craft for us to do over the Thanksgiving Break. It was exhausting to make! I made the animals and maybe a few of the wise men (they are on the right) and Neil made the rest. He really got into it! I petered out after awhile and went to watch basketball with Neil's dad. I'm thankful Neil finished it and that we have it to put out. I love that it's homemade and feel like that detail fits our family very well!

These little guys have been around for as long as I can remember. I guess they are elves? They aren't special in that they were a favorite decoration of mine growing up. I'm actually indifferent to them, but they were in one of the boxes my dad gave me last year of Christmas decorations so they stayed. Now I appreciate having them since I grew up with them. Its a sweet little piece of childhood.

These stockings are purely for decoration and we found them in our tree box. I've never seen them before in my life! I liked them though and we found a place on the side of our book shelf to hang them. We just recently got the stockings I grew up with from my dad, but we decided to not hang them. Each stocking has Santa on it and Neil and I aren't planning on celebrating Santa or focusing on Santa during Christmas, with or without kids. We are keeping them boxed up since I did grow up with them and so they are sentimental, but Neil and I have decided that we don't want a lot of 'Santa' related items in our home.

This is all we did to the outside of our house. I love it and I am actually the one that did the railing. It took about 15 minutes and I did it all by myself! (applause is appreciated, thank you) Neil and I love to go look at Christmas lights and Christmas decorations around town. We will get in the car and just drive to neighborhoods in areas of town that we think will have lots of decorations. I've realized that each house or style of decoration that I really like is the more traditional style of lights, greenery, and bows. I like it sweet, simple, and classic.

So here is our home of the Holidays. It has been interesting for us to consider how we should celebrate Christmas and what the purposes are for trees, lights, bows, presents, etc. We don't know how to figure it all out and so we are just trying to do what we can to focus on Christ in our own hearts and as a couple. In our family devotions we have been reading through the beginning of Luke and singing the Christ oriented Christmas Carols. We know that we want to worship and make much of Christ this season and since that's hard enough with all the 'hustle and bustle' of the season I think we are off to a good effort and I think we both are eager to learn more on how to make our home more Christ centered and to know why we do the things we do such as trees, lights, presents, carols, etc. Anyone have any good resources?

Merry Merry Christmas!

A Day in the Life: of a 'Stay at Home Wife'

My friend Lacy came up with this great idea of doing a 'Day in the Life' post to record what a typical day could look like for you. Go her blog to see her day as a SAHM mom of little ones and other people's days also!

My days can look so different from each other that I decided to pick a 'typical' day in which I'm not volunteering somewhere, babysitting, or helping a friend in her classroom. So this 'Day in the Life' is based on a typical Monday or Friday for me.

6:30am Wake up and have family devotions.

I am really trying to be awake for this time with Neil so I can remember what we talk about it and pray for each other. It's pretty difficult for someone who isn't a 'morning person', but I respect Neil's leadership for this time and am thankful we are doing this, even though I don't seem or act thankful most mornings...

7:45am Breakfast
Neil has left for work and I'm HUNGRY! This is my favorite breakfast: peanut butter toast.
Sometimes I will eat a banana with it also. Yes, I drink this whole glass of water so I can take the vitamins. And Yes, I have to go to the bathroom a lot in the mornings...

8:30am Devotions
I'm more awake now and can concentrate on what I'm reading and what I'm thinking.

9:00am Workout
We don't have a dvd player and our t.v. is in our guest room so I use my laptop to workout, unless its nice enough to be outside. I try to do this consistently though some mornings I have other commitments that don't leave the time. Working out is suppose to really help with the PCOS diet I'm on so it helps keep me more consistent that I would be otherwise and I do feel better afterward!

10:00 am Clean House
This is usually different things. Sometimes its a full blown clean the house and sometimes its doing laundry, dishes, making bread, meal and errand planning, or picking up around the house after the weekend.

12:00 pm Eat lunch
I NEVER know what to eat for lunch. I usually have a peanut butter sandwich and chips and salsa. Sometimes I have leftovers.

12:30pm-3:00pm Run Errands
My errands are typically to the grocery stores and the library to use the internet. They are only two errands but they take up time since the two grocery stores (one a organic/natural grocery store and the is Kroger) are across town from each other. Also I'm at the library for awhile because I try to only go a couple times a week and since we don't have internet at our house I do all I can while I'm there.

3-4pm Home
I usually get home between 3-4pm depending on my errands. During this time before starting dinner I like to do crafts, maybe watch a Cosby Show episode, read, or finish laundry or something. This time can be nice and relaxing or can be hard to fill and boring. I try to use it well but it can be challenging sometimes.

4:45pm Start Dinner
This is one of Neil's favorite recipes and my sweet friend Lacy gave it to me. She also made me the recipe book! I use it OFTEN because it has so many YUMMY recipes! This is such a good idea to make for a new wife.


5:45 pm Neil's Home from work!
It is always fun to have Neil come home from work and he is always SO helpful as soon as he gets home to help with dinner or visit with me.

6:00pm Dinner
I enjoy this time to hear about Neil's day at work and tell him about my day. He usually enjoys what I've cooked so that's nice too!

6:30-10pm
We clean up dinner, wash dishes, and hang out. Every night is different and sometimes the same. We go on walks, read, do the budget (my favorite, not!), play games, have company over, talk on the phone with others, talk to each other. We aren't busy in the evenings typically so this time is flexible. I LOVE our evenings together. This is probably my favorite part of the day because I feel like its my chance to spend time with Neil and fun together so I soak it up.

10:00pm Bedtime!
Goodnight, Sleep tight!

Does Anyone Know Where I Can Find Some Leaves?

Front Yard leaves









Back Yard Leaves







Oh, you mean I have a whole mountain range of leaves on my curb? Who knew!

Well, I suspected we had a lot of leaves when I started raking on Monday afternoon, but I did not know we had this many leaves. I did the backyard on Monday and the front yard on Tuesday, a total of FIVE HOURS to rake all the leaves in the yard! Now, I don't know if it should take 5 hours to rake our yard and I think ignorance definitely played apart in it taking me so long. My engineer husband was out of town on a business trip and we desperately needed to rake the yard. I joyfully volunteered since I had the time so we bought a rake. I have raked before but never by myself. I was prepared to be really sore and for it to take awhile, but not FIVE HOURS. I just kept laughing to myself because there were SO many leaves! Neil was amazed when I talked with him Monday night and then more amazed Tuesday night when he got home.

I actually enjoyed raking the yard. I think it is because I can see progress. It's like cleaning, BUT BETTER! When I clean the house it doesn't always look dirty so I can question if it was worth it or if I 'accomplished' anything. Will Neil be able to tell that I cleaned? Can I tell that I cleaned? But with raking it felt good to 'accomplish' something. Each time I pulled the leaves with the rake it felt like I had just scrubbed a section of the yard.

The most difficult part was figuring out how to get the leaves from the back yard to the curb in the front. There's a house in the way of the most direct route. Do I rake them all the way around the house? Tried that and didn't like it. Do I rake them around the other side where its a shorter distance? Tried that too and didn't like it. Do I carry a pile of leaves by hand? Man, that takes a long time and I know its not the most efficient. I kept thinking- I need a wheel barrow or some kind of bucket to put the leaves in and carry them to the curb, but I have neither. Then my next door neighbor came home and told me that I could use my TRASH CAN! BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!! He also lent me his leaf blower, but I was pretty intimidated by it so I went with the trash can idea. It was a life saver, especially on Tuesday when I did the front yard which has SIGNIFICANTLY more leaves than the back. So if you are raking leaves soon, use a trash can.
Also Neil said that his family would use a big tarp to drag the leaves. Both are WONDERFUL ideas and I will use either of them next time. Which may not be very long from now because if you noticed that one tree in our yard has yet to lose leaves...

4 Years.

Today is the 4 year anniversary of my mom's death. It's not my favorite day of the year and I miss her, but I'm doing okay. I've been aware periodically the last two weeks that today was the 4 year anniversary, but that is as far as my thoughts have gone. Even today I was going about my morning when I received a text from a far away friend that said she was thinking of me today. Then I remembered, "oh yeah... today is the day." I'm thankful she texted me and that she remembered! I haven't talked with her in a few months and it meant a lot that she remembered. I definitely wasn't expecting anyone else to remember something that hasn't happened to them especially since I haven't really thought about it. There is apart of me that doesn't want to remember this day 4 years ago, but I see how the Lord has taught me and brought me deeper into knowing him through it. (It still feels wrong and weird to say that what I learned by my mom's death brings closure to my mom's death... as if to say what God has taught me from that loss closes and wraps up that part of my life like a box with a nicely tied bow. I don't think that's true, I don't think regardless of my day-to-day feelings that my mom's death is all closed up and is ready to be shipped off or put on a shelf. I think it will always be with me and that it can be opened up at anytime and I can learn more and grieve more.) I am thankful for what the Lord has taught me: this world is not my home and things that I always thought were secure like the institution of a family are not secure. This is a fallen world and disease, sickness, violence, and death are all results of the fall. Therefore my hope is in heaven where God is because things in heaven and of eternal worth last forever. I want my hope to be there. Not that I don't love the gifts of this life, but I need to be continually aware that they pass away and I'm not guaranteed anything in this life, but the promises of God through Christ.

Today has really been a very normal day and I think that's okay. I told Neil last night that I feel like there is this expectation that I've got to lay in bed all day and be sad, but that's not a realistic expectation. If that is where I was at right now then that's what I'd be doing, but its not. I'm fine. Yes, I really miss my mom, but not just today, a lot of days throughout the year. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I laugh, and most of the time I'm fine. So I believe its okay that I go about today running errands, helping a friend, blogging, reheating leftovers, picking up the house, and waiting for Neil to come home. I believe its okay if today is a normal day even when its not 'just any 'ol day'.

My Favorite Month...

... has come to a close. Last year I dubbed October as my favorite month because it officially feels like fall, I get to officially start wearing cardigans, the leaves change, and it starts the holiday season! I have had good self control in not listening to Christmas music during the month of October, but I am DESPERATE to listen to some now that is November!!!!! I am wanting a new Christmas cd since I have worn out my current one. I'm thinking of making a mix and I'm pretty excited about it. Any suggestions? Neil lovingly thinks I'm ridiculous and keeps telling me that it hasn't even been Thanksgiving yet so I shouldn't listen to Christmas music. I argue that Christmas music puts me in the mood for Thanksgiving AND Christmas and I can't help it if there aren't any Thanksgiving songs! If there are, please don't tell Neil.

This past October was a great October. The leaves were very colorful here in East TN and the trees in my yard were very colorful which I was very excited about since we moved in when everything was green and there was no guarantee on what the trees would look like in the fall. I don't even know what kind of trees we have in our yard, to me every green tree is a green tree. I don't have a clue the difference between oaks, maples, and whatever kinds of trees there are here. It's green and it has leaves- great with me!

At the beginning of October one of my BFs from college got married. It was beautiful wedding and I'm so happy for Brittany and Scott! This was probably the last wedding I'll be in and it was joy to be apart of it!

Neil and I also went camping... this is a BIG DEAL. Neil grew up camping and hiking. I did not. 'Camping' for my family growing up was staying in a nice, fully furnished cabin with running water, electricity, and cable at a State Park. I had a short stint as a hiker/backpacker in college and I enjoyed it, but it is not natural. Neil was 'outdoorsy' and I liked Neil so I was 'outdoorsy'. Poor Neil thought he was marrying an 'outdoorsy' girl and then after we got married he realized the awful truth. I'm not really an 'outdoorsy' girl. I don't mind getting dirty or being outside, I just don't think about doing things outside. Well, despite the VERY cold nights, we had a GREAT TIME! It helped that we were at the State Park that is a mile from Neil's parents' house so I had a place to go if I really hated it. But I didn't hate it! It was so relaxing and enjoyable to spend time with Neil doing something he really enjoys and I mildly enjoy- I enjoy it more because he enjoys it.

At the end of the month I got to spend time with my best friend Lacy* on her birthday and it was such a special treat for me to see her and her little girls! We have been close friends since freshman year of college and I am so thankful that we are still close! It has been a joy to travel through the college years and young married/young family years together! It it always so interesting for me to look back on our friendship and see how it has changed and developed. Our friendship started with common interests in music, clothes, psychology, and the Lord and has grown through trials, losses, joys, blessings, boyfriends, marriages, moves, convictions, and deeper relationships with the Lord. We live two hours apart and our conversations are more limited now with our stages of life, but it is a joy to be her friend and I'm more thankful for the texts, occasional 10 minute phone calls, and occasional visits to see her that she can give me.

That sums up my October and now I'm oh so ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

*this is first ever link on my own... standing ovation please... and thank you.