A Day in the Life: of a 'Stay at Home Wife'

My friend Lacy came up with this great idea of doing a 'Day in the Life' post to record what a typical day could look like for you. Go her blog to see her day as a SAHM mom of little ones and other people's days also!

My days can look so different from each other that I decided to pick a 'typical' day in which I'm not volunteering somewhere, babysitting, or helping a friend in her classroom. So this 'Day in the Life' is based on a typical Monday or Friday for me.

6:30am Wake up and have family devotions.

I am really trying to be awake for this time with Neil so I can remember what we talk about it and pray for each other. It's pretty difficult for someone who isn't a 'morning person', but I respect Neil's leadership for this time and am thankful we are doing this, even though I don't seem or act thankful most mornings...

7:45am Breakfast
Neil has left for work and I'm HUNGRY! This is my favorite breakfast: peanut butter toast.
Sometimes I will eat a banana with it also. Yes, I drink this whole glass of water so I can take the vitamins. And Yes, I have to go to the bathroom a lot in the mornings...

8:30am Devotions
I'm more awake now and can concentrate on what I'm reading and what I'm thinking.

9:00am Workout
We don't have a dvd player and our t.v. is in our guest room so I use my laptop to workout, unless its nice enough to be outside. I try to do this consistently though some mornings I have other commitments that don't leave the time. Working out is suppose to really help with the PCOS diet I'm on so it helps keep me more consistent that I would be otherwise and I do feel better afterward!

10:00 am Clean House
This is usually different things. Sometimes its a full blown clean the house and sometimes its doing laundry, dishes, making bread, meal and errand planning, or picking up around the house after the weekend.

12:00 pm Eat lunch
I NEVER know what to eat for lunch. I usually have a peanut butter sandwich and chips and salsa. Sometimes I have leftovers.

12:30pm-3:00pm Run Errands
My errands are typically to the grocery stores and the library to use the internet. They are only two errands but they take up time since the two grocery stores (one a organic/natural grocery store and the is Kroger) are across town from each other. Also I'm at the library for awhile because I try to only go a couple times a week and since we don't have internet at our house I do all I can while I'm there.

3-4pm Home
I usually get home between 3-4pm depending on my errands. During this time before starting dinner I like to do crafts, maybe watch a Cosby Show episode, read, or finish laundry or something. This time can be nice and relaxing or can be hard to fill and boring. I try to use it well but it can be challenging sometimes.

4:45pm Start Dinner
This is one of Neil's favorite recipes and my sweet friend Lacy gave it to me. She also made me the recipe book! I use it OFTEN because it has so many YUMMY recipes! This is such a good idea to make for a new wife.


5:45 pm Neil's Home from work!
It is always fun to have Neil come home from work and he is always SO helpful as soon as he gets home to help with dinner or visit with me.

6:00pm Dinner
I enjoy this time to hear about Neil's day at work and tell him about my day. He usually enjoys what I've cooked so that's nice too!

6:30-10pm
We clean up dinner, wash dishes, and hang out. Every night is different and sometimes the same. We go on walks, read, do the budget (my favorite, not!), play games, have company over, talk on the phone with others, talk to each other. We aren't busy in the evenings typically so this time is flexible. I LOVE our evenings together. This is probably my favorite part of the day because I feel like its my chance to spend time with Neil and fun together so I soak it up.

10:00pm Bedtime!
Goodnight, Sleep tight!

Does Anyone Know Where I Can Find Some Leaves?

Front Yard leaves









Back Yard Leaves







Oh, you mean I have a whole mountain range of leaves on my curb? Who knew!

Well, I suspected we had a lot of leaves when I started raking on Monday afternoon, but I did not know we had this many leaves. I did the backyard on Monday and the front yard on Tuesday, a total of FIVE HOURS to rake all the leaves in the yard! Now, I don't know if it should take 5 hours to rake our yard and I think ignorance definitely played apart in it taking me so long. My engineer husband was out of town on a business trip and we desperately needed to rake the yard. I joyfully volunteered since I had the time so we bought a rake. I have raked before but never by myself. I was prepared to be really sore and for it to take awhile, but not FIVE HOURS. I just kept laughing to myself because there were SO many leaves! Neil was amazed when I talked with him Monday night and then more amazed Tuesday night when he got home.

I actually enjoyed raking the yard. I think it is because I can see progress. It's like cleaning, BUT BETTER! When I clean the house it doesn't always look dirty so I can question if it was worth it or if I 'accomplished' anything. Will Neil be able to tell that I cleaned? Can I tell that I cleaned? But with raking it felt good to 'accomplish' something. Each time I pulled the leaves with the rake it felt like I had just scrubbed a section of the yard.

The most difficult part was figuring out how to get the leaves from the back yard to the curb in the front. There's a house in the way of the most direct route. Do I rake them all the way around the house? Tried that and didn't like it. Do I rake them around the other side where its a shorter distance? Tried that too and didn't like it. Do I carry a pile of leaves by hand? Man, that takes a long time and I know its not the most efficient. I kept thinking- I need a wheel barrow or some kind of bucket to put the leaves in and carry them to the curb, but I have neither. Then my next door neighbor came home and told me that I could use my TRASH CAN! BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!! He also lent me his leaf blower, but I was pretty intimidated by it so I went with the trash can idea. It was a life saver, especially on Tuesday when I did the front yard which has SIGNIFICANTLY more leaves than the back. So if you are raking leaves soon, use a trash can.
Also Neil said that his family would use a big tarp to drag the leaves. Both are WONDERFUL ideas and I will use either of them next time. Which may not be very long from now because if you noticed that one tree in our yard has yet to lose leaves...

4 Years.

Today is the 4 year anniversary of my mom's death. It's not my favorite day of the year and I miss her, but I'm doing okay. I've been aware periodically the last two weeks that today was the 4 year anniversary, but that is as far as my thoughts have gone. Even today I was going about my morning when I received a text from a far away friend that said she was thinking of me today. Then I remembered, "oh yeah... today is the day." I'm thankful she texted me and that she remembered! I haven't talked with her in a few months and it meant a lot that she remembered. I definitely wasn't expecting anyone else to remember something that hasn't happened to them especially since I haven't really thought about it. There is apart of me that doesn't want to remember this day 4 years ago, but I see how the Lord has taught me and brought me deeper into knowing him through it. (It still feels wrong and weird to say that what I learned by my mom's death brings closure to my mom's death... as if to say what God has taught me from that loss closes and wraps up that part of my life like a box with a nicely tied bow. I don't think that's true, I don't think regardless of my day-to-day feelings that my mom's death is all closed up and is ready to be shipped off or put on a shelf. I think it will always be with me and that it can be opened up at anytime and I can learn more and grieve more.) I am thankful for what the Lord has taught me: this world is not my home and things that I always thought were secure like the institution of a family are not secure. This is a fallen world and disease, sickness, violence, and death are all results of the fall. Therefore my hope is in heaven where God is because things in heaven and of eternal worth last forever. I want my hope to be there. Not that I don't love the gifts of this life, but I need to be continually aware that they pass away and I'm not guaranteed anything in this life, but the promises of God through Christ.

Today has really been a very normal day and I think that's okay. I told Neil last night that I feel like there is this expectation that I've got to lay in bed all day and be sad, but that's not a realistic expectation. If that is where I was at right now then that's what I'd be doing, but its not. I'm fine. Yes, I really miss my mom, but not just today, a lot of days throughout the year. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I laugh, and most of the time I'm fine. So I believe its okay that I go about today running errands, helping a friend, blogging, reheating leftovers, picking up the house, and waiting for Neil to come home. I believe its okay if today is a normal day even when its not 'just any 'ol day'.

My Favorite Month...

... has come to a close. Last year I dubbed October as my favorite month because it officially feels like fall, I get to officially start wearing cardigans, the leaves change, and it starts the holiday season! I have had good self control in not listening to Christmas music during the month of October, but I am DESPERATE to listen to some now that is November!!!!! I am wanting a new Christmas cd since I have worn out my current one. I'm thinking of making a mix and I'm pretty excited about it. Any suggestions? Neil lovingly thinks I'm ridiculous and keeps telling me that it hasn't even been Thanksgiving yet so I shouldn't listen to Christmas music. I argue that Christmas music puts me in the mood for Thanksgiving AND Christmas and I can't help it if there aren't any Thanksgiving songs! If there are, please don't tell Neil.

This past October was a great October. The leaves were very colorful here in East TN and the trees in my yard were very colorful which I was very excited about since we moved in when everything was green and there was no guarantee on what the trees would look like in the fall. I don't even know what kind of trees we have in our yard, to me every green tree is a green tree. I don't have a clue the difference between oaks, maples, and whatever kinds of trees there are here. It's green and it has leaves- great with me!

At the beginning of October one of my BFs from college got married. It was beautiful wedding and I'm so happy for Brittany and Scott! This was probably the last wedding I'll be in and it was joy to be apart of it!

Neil and I also went camping... this is a BIG DEAL. Neil grew up camping and hiking. I did not. 'Camping' for my family growing up was staying in a nice, fully furnished cabin with running water, electricity, and cable at a State Park. I had a short stint as a hiker/backpacker in college and I enjoyed it, but it is not natural. Neil was 'outdoorsy' and I liked Neil so I was 'outdoorsy'. Poor Neil thought he was marrying an 'outdoorsy' girl and then after we got married he realized the awful truth. I'm not really an 'outdoorsy' girl. I don't mind getting dirty or being outside, I just don't think about doing things outside. Well, despite the VERY cold nights, we had a GREAT TIME! It helped that we were at the State Park that is a mile from Neil's parents' house so I had a place to go if I really hated it. But I didn't hate it! It was so relaxing and enjoyable to spend time with Neil doing something he really enjoys and I mildly enjoy- I enjoy it more because he enjoys it.

At the end of the month I got to spend time with my best friend Lacy* on her birthday and it was such a special treat for me to see her and her little girls! We have been close friends since freshman year of college and I am so thankful that we are still close! It has been a joy to travel through the college years and young married/young family years together! It it always so interesting for me to look back on our friendship and see how it has changed and developed. Our friendship started with common interests in music, clothes, psychology, and the Lord and has grown through trials, losses, joys, blessings, boyfriends, marriages, moves, convictions, and deeper relationships with the Lord. We live two hours apart and our conversations are more limited now with our stages of life, but it is a joy to be her friend and I'm more thankful for the texts, occasional 10 minute phone calls, and occasional visits to see her that she can give me.

That sums up my October and now I'm oh so ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

*this is first ever link on my own... standing ovation please... and thank you.

Despairing to Joy

I've been seeking to follow the PCOS diet for almost two months and its been a whirlwind of emotions. I started out strong and with faith to learn about the diet and try it. I didn't want it to consume me or be the constant topic of conversation, but it was hard to not research the diet and PCOS, talk with Neil about my findings and my questions, and talk with others about my confusion and questions. I think it did consume me and turned into an idol. I was wanting to 'get the diet right' so it would fix me and I could increase my changes of conceiving. I was comparing myself with my friends whose cycles regulated very quickly and saw constant changes. I was wanting to control my circumstance and fix it quickly. It wasn't and isn't working that way.

Through that I succumbed to despair. There wasn't an instant when I hit the wall of despair, but subtle trickles of helplessness, confusion, frustration, anger, and then hopelessness. I was angry to have PCOS even though its really common. I didn't want to talk about the diet with people, I didn't care about the diet, I didn't want to go to social functions because I didn't want to explain AGAIN why I couldn't eat the food, and I hated that it was the one thing people were asking me about. I've lost weight because of the diet and I hated that people noticed. Any woman in their right mind would LOVE to lose weight and to have people notice, but I hated it. I was angry that it was the only change that had taken place. I was angry that my clothes weren't fitting because I had lost weight. I didn't want to love a friend who is pregnant, I honestly didn't want to even talk to her. In my angry, lonely despair, I wanted her to feel alone. I was wallowing in my selfishness.

BUT GOD

In his mercy has turned my despair to joy. I realized that I was wasting this time of waiting. This time is the perfect time to know the Lord instead of running from him. I want to value this time of waiting and this opportunity to press into the Lord and know him and his purposes better. This is such a precious time and I will miss it if I succumb to despair. But if I press into hope and joy in Lord then it won't be wasted. God is using this to produce in me perseverance, character, and hope. His word says that hope does not disappoint. (Romans 5:3-5) So I'm trying to press in to him instead of pressing into despair and anger. I think 'pressing in' for me looks like taken my thoughts captive and choosing my thoughts. I am choosing to believe God instead of choosing to doubt God. I am choosing to believe his word that says He is for me. I am choosing to be thankful for this diet instead of hateful for it. I am choosing to be thankful for the weight loss and being healthy instead of angry. I try to pray for my meals and ask God to bless the food ('PCOS approved' or not) to my body and nourish it according to his purpose (sometimes I forget to pray for the meal). I am choosing to rejoice and think well of my pregnant friends and what God had done for them instead of thinking of myself and what 'God had done to me'. I am choosing to be thankful for this sweet opportunity to know the Lord and not miss it.

It's a hard battle, but its better than not fighting at all. I've seen the Lord's faithfulness to me even in this past Sunday's sermon on Romans 4:13-22 about Abraham and God's promise to make him the father of many nations. Abraham had no children at the time when God made the promise to him and his wife Sarah was barren. They waited 25 YEARS for the fulfillment of that promise in Isaac! I LOVE verses 18-21:
¹⁸In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, "So shall your offspring be." ¹⁹He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead ( since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. ²⁰No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, ²¹fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.

In godly hope Abraham believed against the odds of worldly hope.
Abraham still believed the Lord would fulfill his promise to Abraham despite the reality of his circumstance that Abraham was REALLY OLD and his REALLY OLD WIFE was BARREN. He didn't waver in unbelief because he knew God was faithful and able.
God promised Abraham that he would make him the father of many nations and give him a son and he did.

God has NOT promised me children, but he has promised me eternal hope and joy in Christ. He has promised that this trial is producing fruit in my life. He has promised that" his word is right and true and that he is faithful in all he does." (Psalm 33:4) He has promised that he hears me when I cry out to him. He has promised me that he is my help and my shield and that I can wait in hope for him. (Psalm 33:20)

Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14)
I want to do this well! Wait for the Lord, have joy and take courage!

So that's been my month and I'm doing well right now by God's grace he has continued to help me rejoice and have faith. I think i will continually be tempted to despair, but I do not have to live in despair because of the cross! Praise the Lord!

Don't You Know There Is A Hurricane!?

This is exactly what several people said to me last week when I mentioned Neil and I were going to the Virginia coast to visit some of his siblings. Yes, I said some because he is one of 5 kids! However, I assured the worried minds that we would miss the hurricane by a full day. Neil and I had planned a month ago to spend Labor Day weekend visiting his sister who just moved to Roanoke and then head up to VA Beach to visit his brother and sister-in-law (the same ones that just got married in Williamsburg in June). We had a great time even though I was sick with a sinus infection. In Roanoke we went on a picnic to Mill Mountain which is a park, on a mountain, with this ridiculous star on the top that they light up at night. Along with this star is a camera that will take your picture every 10 seconds and people can go on-line and see you standing there. Its bizarre. Apparently they have the star because Roanoke is known as the 'Star City'... so my question is- would Roanoke be 'Star City' without the star? After much pondering about the purpose of the star we went to a coffee shop and played games. Neil and I really enjoy playing games and so does the rest of his family. Neil's birthday was last week and he received two new games. Monopoly Deal and Dominion. His family as already had a slight obsession with Monopoly Deal, but we were able to spread the obsession to the game Dominion. We brought it along and taught his sister to play. Then we went to VA Beach and taught his brother and sister-in-law to play and that's basically what we did all day Monday. They loved it and we went to sleep with visions of cards in our heads. It was fun to spend time with each of them. VA Beach was beautiful, but was also very much like Panama City Beach- very touristy and junky. We walked on the beach once and it was really nice, but we had our fill. Neil and I aren't really 'beach people', though I am slightly more than him because it was really the only way my family vacationed. Anyway, I like Virginia, but its good to be home.

My String of Pearls

It's been awhile since I've posted because the month of July was pretty hard. Neil and I weren't busy with anything, but we, probably me more than him, were pretty consumed with our circumstance.

Now, I'll stop being vague. We would like to have children and have been 'not avoiding' since April. I was also trying to pay attention to my cycle so that when we were officially trying we would know how things worked. Well, its kind of hard to figure out how things work when they don't work correctly. Basically I went 71 days between periods. That's May to July. I've always had abnormal cycles so missing my period isn't a shock, but makes it hard when I'm not pregnant and can't even figure out my cycle in hopes to get pregnant. Towards the end of June I realized that I would need to take a pregnancy test since I hadn't started. I knew if the results of this test were negative then something wasn't working right. The beginning of July I took a test and it was negative. After a few tears of frustration I tried to call a doctor. The earliest appointment I could get was two weeks away. In the meantime, I found out that two new friends of mine from church are both pregnant. By the grace of God, I was/am able to be so genuinely excited for them and want to celebrate and support them in their pregnancies. However, there were also tears of sorrow for myself. All these 'what if' questions and 'I want' thoughts intermingled with genuine prayers for my friends.

In this time all I could do was cry out to the Lord. I knew/know he is my only help because HE is completely Sovereign over my life, body, and future. He knows when and if he has children in my future. So I must wait in him. The Psalms were so helpful to life my head and remind my of my hope in God, specifically Psalm 33:20-22, Psalm 94: 19,22, and Psalm 95:6. Also, I've been reading In Light of Eternity by Randy Alcorn and contemplating the hope I have in heaven and eternity with the Lord. Again, I have NO guarantee of children and pregnancy. Though they can be the expected steps of life, they have not been promised to me, though they are blessings from the Lord. I cannot put my hope in pregnancy or having children because they are things of this world that do not last. My hope is in heaven where I will be with the Lord.

These truths have brought consolation to my soul throughout this last month as I've walked through the emotions and frustrations of what is going on with my body. I've gone from despair at the beginning of July to hope today. We went to the doctor and they took some blood tests. Then I went back again last week to find the results. We found out that I have two strings of pearls on my ovaries. Which really means cysts. I have PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome) which is when there are cysts on the ovaries and hormonal imbalances that can effect ovulation. My hormones are not that out of whack and the cysts make it hard for the eggs to release from the ovaries. That's my current understanding.

They wanted to put me on medication, but Neil and I want to try fixing my hormones naturally first. So I'm on a diet. Not to lose weight, but to eat more naturally and organically. This means no enriched white flour, no processed foods, cage free eggs, grain fed chicken, grass fed meats, organic vegetables, and the hardest- NO SUGAR, which means NO ICE CREAM. Those of you that know me understand that this one is the hardest to give up. I've grown up on ice cream, but in light of balancing my hormones and maybe getting pregnant I'm okay with it.

So far the diet hasn't been too bad. Grocery shopping has definitely cost more but cooking isn't any more difficult. I just change the recipe to where I can eat it. And we are just doing the best we can because ultimately this diet isn't what gets me pregnant. The Lord is the one would gives life whether he uses the diet, or medication, or his own power alone, he is the one who would bless Neil and I with children.

I really like pearls in general and I DO NOT want to despise the pearls on my ovaries because the Lord is using them to draw me closer to him and life my eyes and my hope to heaven.

I've wanted to share through the month of July, but there wasn't anything to really share and I was so emotionally drained I didn't know where to start. But now I'm better because I am filled with hope and daily needing to be filled with hope.