Being 'Kept' and 'Keeping'

As I sat down to write today I was reminded of the book of Jude and the sermons that C.J. Mahaney gave at my church last summer. I've included the messages below because they are VERY beneficial. Please take time to download them and listen at your convenience. I also included the passages he taught from. The summary of his sermons is how Jesus' blood keeps us in the faith and because of that we are to contend and keep ourselves in the faith. C.J.'s passion for the Gospel is very challenging and encouraging.

How thankful I am that Jesus' blood permanently keeps and has secured my salvation and standing before the Lord because I am terrible at 'keeping' myself in the faith. I too often ride the waves of my emotions and circumstances instead of the steady daily and momentary fighting for faith in God's consistent character and His Word. To 'keep' yourself in the faith is knowing and walking in the Gospel daily and fighting for faith daily amidst your temptation and circumstances.

I've been through a period of about 2-3 months of not fighting for faith and not really caring. I've been angry and bitter at God for not giving me what I want: children and pregnancy. There has been another cloud reigning over me fogging up my perspective and reality. I think the cloud this time was resignation. I had resigned to the fact that this season is hard. I had resigned to the fact that I am not promised children or pregnancy. I had resigned to the fact that these, children and pregnancy, are joyous things but I cannot find everlasting joy in them. I had resigned to the fact that I cannot be in control and that God is the only one who brings life. I had resigned to the fact that God was bringing life into this world, just not through me. I resigned to the fact that God was working good for all my friends who were pregnant. I resigned to the 'fact' my circumstance was a bigger indicator of God's love for me than the Gospel. I resigned to the 'fact' that God was good, just not to me. I resigned to the 'fact' that God was Sovereign, but not loving-to me. I resigned to the 'fact' that in His Sovereignty I was a pawn for him to use for his glory. I resigned to the 'fact' that his glory was separate from my good. I knew that something was going on that wasn't quite right but I didn't really care. It seemed too overwhelming to sift through the cloud to find my thoughts and I didn't think it would really do any good. I had resigned.

BUT GOD slowly started to life the cloud of resignation. He began to thin out the fog of anger and bitterness and has helped me see clearly. It began by crying after the sermon at church on Sunday. Neil held me and prayed for me (again) and listened as I tried to find my thoughts. Then two of our pastors came to us separately and prayed and counseled me in what was True. They encouraged me in the fight of faith that this big swing of doubt to faith, but usually a daily, moment by moment fight to believe what is True. To find the little 'nuggets of gold' in Scripture that speak to you that day and cling to those promises throughout the day. This served me as I sensed a slow turning in my hardened heart, maybe God wasn't what I was believing him to be. My heart was still hard but I began to see and claim that certain things, such as the two pastors praying and caring for us, were God providing for me and breaking through the cloud to dissolve my unbelief. I clung to these tangible examples of his care for me. A few weeks ago I shared at our care group what I had been going through. They had us sit in the middle and they prayed for Neil and me. Another example of God breaking through my cloud and showing me his care for me. My emotions weren't soaring with elation, but I wasn't anger, bitter, or resentful either. These past few weeks the clouds have dispersed. I have felt renewed joy in the Gospel and by God's grace I am attempting to 'keep myself in the love of God'. There is a fight for faith today and God has only called me to have faith for today and today he is giving me grace for that faith. He has not given me grace for my imagination (this is a quote from some really great author, but I don't remember who and it was something my friend told me anyway. NOT SOMETHING I CAME UP WITH). Every morning is a new supply of His grace for the fight of faith. Hopefully tomorrow will be another day fighting, but all I can do is focus on the grace God has given me to fight for faith right now. And you know, I think that truth gives me sufficient hope.

Listen Here to Part 1
Listen Here to Part 2
Listen Here to Part 3

"To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ ²May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you.

³Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.

²⁰But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, ²¹ keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. ²²And have mercy on those who doubt; ²³save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.

²⁴Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, ²⁵to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen."

Jude 1b-3, 20-25

If you made is this far, thanks for sticking with me!