Being 'Kept' and 'Keeping'

As I sat down to write today I was reminded of the book of Jude and the sermons that C.J. Mahaney gave at my church last summer. I've included the messages below because they are VERY beneficial. Please take time to download them and listen at your convenience. I also included the passages he taught from. The summary of his sermons is how Jesus' blood keeps us in the faith and because of that we are to contend and keep ourselves in the faith. C.J.'s passion for the Gospel is very challenging and encouraging.

How thankful I am that Jesus' blood permanently keeps and has secured my salvation and standing before the Lord because I am terrible at 'keeping' myself in the faith. I too often ride the waves of my emotions and circumstances instead of the steady daily and momentary fighting for faith in God's consistent character and His Word. To 'keep' yourself in the faith is knowing and walking in the Gospel daily and fighting for faith daily amidst your temptation and circumstances.

I've been through a period of about 2-3 months of not fighting for faith and not really caring. I've been angry and bitter at God for not giving me what I want: children and pregnancy. There has been another cloud reigning over me fogging up my perspective and reality. I think the cloud this time was resignation. I had resigned to the fact that this season is hard. I had resigned to the fact that I am not promised children or pregnancy. I had resigned to the fact that these, children and pregnancy, are joyous things but I cannot find everlasting joy in them. I had resigned to the fact that I cannot be in control and that God is the only one who brings life. I had resigned to the fact that God was bringing life into this world, just not through me. I resigned to the fact that God was working good for all my friends who were pregnant. I resigned to the 'fact' my circumstance was a bigger indicator of God's love for me than the Gospel. I resigned to the 'fact' that God was good, just not to me. I resigned to the 'fact' that God was Sovereign, but not loving-to me. I resigned to the 'fact' that in His Sovereignty I was a pawn for him to use for his glory. I resigned to the 'fact' that his glory was separate from my good. I knew that something was going on that wasn't quite right but I didn't really care. It seemed too overwhelming to sift through the cloud to find my thoughts and I didn't think it would really do any good. I had resigned.

BUT GOD slowly started to life the cloud of resignation. He began to thin out the fog of anger and bitterness and has helped me see clearly. It began by crying after the sermon at church on Sunday. Neil held me and prayed for me (again) and listened as I tried to find my thoughts. Then two of our pastors came to us separately and prayed and counseled me in what was True. They encouraged me in the fight of faith that this big swing of doubt to faith, but usually a daily, moment by moment fight to believe what is True. To find the little 'nuggets of gold' in Scripture that speak to you that day and cling to those promises throughout the day. This served me as I sensed a slow turning in my hardened heart, maybe God wasn't what I was believing him to be. My heart was still hard but I began to see and claim that certain things, such as the two pastors praying and caring for us, were God providing for me and breaking through the cloud to dissolve my unbelief. I clung to these tangible examples of his care for me. A few weeks ago I shared at our care group what I had been going through. They had us sit in the middle and they prayed for Neil and me. Another example of God breaking through my cloud and showing me his care for me. My emotions weren't soaring with elation, but I wasn't anger, bitter, or resentful either. These past few weeks the clouds have dispersed. I have felt renewed joy in the Gospel and by God's grace I am attempting to 'keep myself in the love of God'. There is a fight for faith today and God has only called me to have faith for today and today he is giving me grace for that faith. He has not given me grace for my imagination (this is a quote from some really great author, but I don't remember who and it was something my friend told me anyway. NOT SOMETHING I CAME UP WITH). Every morning is a new supply of His grace for the fight of faith. Hopefully tomorrow will be another day fighting, but all I can do is focus on the grace God has given me to fight for faith right now. And you know, I think that truth gives me sufficient hope.

Listen Here to Part 1
Listen Here to Part 2
Listen Here to Part 3

"To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ ²May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you.

³Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.

²⁰But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, ²¹ keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. ²²And have mercy on those who doubt; ²³save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.

²⁴Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, ²⁵to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen."

Jude 1b-3, 20-25

If you made is this far, thanks for sticking with me!

OH MY VEGGIE POT PIE

I made this recipe Saturday night and it was AH-MAZING so I decided to share! We couldn't wait to dig in so the picture was taken after dinner. Sorry about the bad lighting in most of my pictures, its those energy saving bulbs again... Anyway, I thinkI got the recipe off of Keeper of the Home's blog so she is who I'm going to credit for it. Neil immediately said this recipe was a keeper. I didn't add chicken to it this time, but I think next time I will so it can be a solo meal. It really isn't hard and I thought it was fun to make it because it looked so complicated, but it's not! Just some chopped veggies and some chicken broth! The sweet potato biscuit crust is SSSSOOO GOOOD. It made me want to just make sweet potato biscuits and I don't really like sweet potatoes! Here is the recipe and I hope you enjoy!!!!!

(I call it Oh My Veggie Pot Pie because that is what I said when I took my first bite! Oh My!)

Piled-high Veggie Potpie

(Don't be intimidated by the fairly long list of ingredients- it's really quite easy, and because it's so hearty and full of veggies, you don't need to make much else to go with it!)

Filling:
1 cup each chopped onions and chopped red bell pepper (I've used celery instead)
2 cloves garlic, minced (more is good, too)
2 1/2 cups veggie or chicken broth (I use homemade chicken broth)
2 cups peeled, cubed potatoes (I don't peel mine, just wash them well)
1 cup sliced carrots
1 1/2 tsp dried rosemary (I've also used Italian herb mix- oregano, basil, rosemary)
1/2 tsp. dried thyme
1/2 tsp. salt and pepper
1 cup sliced asparagus pieces or sliced green beans
1/2 cup frozen green peas, thawed (frozen corn works also)
3 Tbsp flour (any kind is fine)
1/4 cup chopped, fresh parsley
However much cooked chicken you have- it can be 1/2 cup or several cups- both taste fine, and it's still a filling meal either way!

Biscuit Crust:
1 1/2 cups flour (again, whatever you usually use- I use spelt)
1 Tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
3 Tbsp butter, softened
3/4 cup cooked mashed sweet potatoes (very easy- I take a large one and peel it, and toss it in a small pot with boiling water before I start making the filling- once it's done, I drain the water, leave it in the pot and use a fork to quickly mash it)
3/4 cup milk, plus extra for brushing top of crust (oops, I usually forget to brush the crust)

1) Add some butter to a med. sized pot. Saute onions, pepper (or celery) and garlic, until softened.

2) Add 2 cups of the broth (save 1/2 cup for later), potatoes, carrots, and seasonings. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer for 12 minutes. Stir in asparagus and peas. Cook 3 more minutes.

3) In a small bowl, mix 3 Tbsp flour with remaining 1/2 cup of broth until smooth. Add to mixture, and cook until bubbly and thickened. Stir in parsley. Transfer to a casserole dish.

4) During the 12 minutes (see #2), I make my crust. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Whisk sweet potato mash and milk together, then add to flour mixture. Stir until a soft ball forms. Personally, I find it a bit too gooey to roll out (although that's what the recipe says to do), so I just form it with my hands and lay it in pieces on top of the casserole. You could also add a bit more flour to make it easier to roll out. Brush with milk.

5. Bake for 20 minutes (I baked it at 350), until crust is golden and somewhat puffed up.

Random Updates

I haven't written in awhile because I've been busy with random things going on. So I just thought I would update you guys on the not so significant activities that have kept me busy lately.


This picture is one of the many reasons why I got my hair cut a few weeks ago.
Yes, this is hair, MY HAIR, cut from our vacuum cleaner. I occasionally have to cut mass amounts of hair from the belt of our vacuum cleaner because it gets clogged up and makes a horrible high pitched squealing sound. At first I thought the squealing sound was because of the quality of our carpet. NOPE! Its my hair. So, I said enough is enough, I'm chopping it off, my hair that is. Well, I didn't actually say that and it wasn't actually because of the vacuum that I got my hair cut, but I think cutting my hair has helped. I hadn't cut my hair in a YEAR and have been wanting to get it cut since the fall. I wisely decided to wait till winter was over before exposing my neck to the elements again. So, yes my hair is chopped, twice actually which makes me feel SO HIGH MAINTENANCE, but if you don't like something you got to try and fix it right? Anyway its much better now.


I made these cinnamon/sweet rolls for a Bible/book study I'm in with a few other young wives.













We had the study at my house and we meet in the morning so I decided to make some breakfast food for us to munch on during our time together. This was my first time to EVER make any kind of pastry from scratch. I'm use to the canned cinnamon rolls that you pop out, bake, and put on the pre-made icing. But I decided to be bold and daring and try it from scratch. It actually wasn't that difficult, but yes it was time consuming. They were kind of a bust at first. Neil tried one and said they didn't actually taste very sweet!!!!!!!!! Well since that was the whole point of them I didn't serve them and quickly made some muffins. But I have served them to others and eaten plenty of them myself since and I made a 'sweet glaze' to put on them which is delicious! So they have been redeemed and there have been many compliments! One guy declared himself a 'sweet roll connoisseur' and said they were the BEST he had ever eaten! So that was VERY encouraging!

Also in the kitchen I had another first. I cooked a WHOLE chicken and made broth!


I had a coupon from EarthFare for a 'free' dinner. If you spent $10.00, which is not hard to do because its a pricey store, since its an organic store, you got a 'free' dinner of a whole chicken, mashed potatoes, and carrots. So I used my coupon and got those items. Well, what you may not know about me is that I'm SUPER grossed out by chicken which is weird since its the only meat I'll really eat. But I'm SUPER paranoid of getting salmonella so I wear gloves when handling any raw chicken. Don't even get me started on dealing with a whole chicken and its bones and insides... My gagging reflexes start flaring up just writing about it. Well anyway I broke down and thought it was time for me to be a 'big girl and wife' and cook the chicken and make chicken broth. I even had to rinse the chicken out myself! I asked Neil but he said he thought it was something I should do... So I held my breath and tried to calm down my gagging reflexes and away I went. It wasn't too bad, still not my favorite thing to ever do, but there wasn't much to clean out and I just put the chicken in my crock pot with some spices and onions and carrots and let it do its thing. We had quite a bit of chicken meat!! Out of a two or two and a half pound chicken I was able to make two HUGE meals that we ate off of for two weeks! Not to mention the chicken broth/stock which was super easy and made quite a bit. I still have a 32oz left to use whenever I need it! So it was SUPER cost effective to do this and not real time consuming since I used my crock pot and I boiled the broth while I made dinner one day. However, I'm still not sold on doing this because I'm not sure my stomach can handle this method!

And lastly, my friend Rebecca asked me to make her some more burp cloths! I was happy to oblige! Here are my four latest creations:













The first two are my favorites because I love making the little rosettes! I love having something pop off the fabric and I can't stop loving the first fabric. I do actually feel greed rising up in me saying I HAVE TO HAVE THAT FABRIC! Which is weird and wrong in SO many ways! I feel like I didn't get to be as creative as I wanted with these because I couldn't think of anything fun to do with the last two, I was running out of time because I gave myself a deadline, and I'm trying to teach myself that 'less is more' sometimes. Anyway, I still love making them and have been thinking of branching into other baby related items so we will see!!!!! For the two of you that read the blog, Lacy and Lauren, if you had made it to the end, thanks for hanging in there!

A Tiny Glimpse

I babysat for a friend on Monday who has a 4 month old. It was only for a few hours, but I think it gave me a tiny glimpse into staying home with a baby. The baby girl started crying right after her momma left, but I think it was because it was her nap time. I figured out how to settle her down and not be intimidated by her crying. I had to keep reminding her and myself that she was going to be okay. Some of her crys were the hard, silent type where her face would start to turn red and I would have to tell her to "BREATHE!" and she would and we'd start over. She fell fast asleep and it was so sweet to hold her and rock her. While she napped, I did a few things around the house and had my quiet time, but I didn't get to everything-like I had planned, naive' and overly ambitious I guess. She was suppose to have a good, long nap for about an hour to an hour and a half, but she only slept for 45 minutes. Then I was a little late in feeding her because I got her bottle too hot, so I was consoling her and trying to cool down her bottle at same time. I fed her and burped her and then we played a little which mostly consisted of me carrying her around the house and talking to her. I was able to sit her up and read to her and play with some of her toys for a little bit, but she didn't last too long. She started crying again because she was getting tired. Maybe since she hadn't slept well for the first nap? So I held her and rocked her till she fell asleep and every time I would try to lay her in her pack 'n play she would wake up and cry! I thought it was kind of funny and it felt like a game-which i was losing. Then, her momma came and picked her up and it was all over, just like that.

Through all the tears (hers, not mine), holding, napping, feeding, consoling, playing, and walking around there was still a very present silence throughout my house. Since I'm an extrovert silence isn't always a welcomed presence for me. And I thought, "So, this is what its like being a mom of a baby. This is what my days could consist of: no other adult, no other person to talk with or get the 'to do' list done for me, or hold the baby girl because my back is starting to ache." Now, I know this is not a perfect picture, it is after all just a tiny glimpse into a small part of a young mother's day. But I can see where even through the all joys of motherhood this could get hard and tiresome. However, I will welcome it any day and there is a longing in my heart for this stage.

Even though this is only for 3 hours this morning, my eyes have been opened to the world where so many of my friends live currently and I understand. No, I don't understand fully and I may never understand fully, but on this day I feel like I scratched the surface of understanding and I just want to encourage all my 'young mother friends' that you aren't alone and what you are doing matters and pleases the Lord because this is where he has called you presently and he desires your faithfulness to rest and trust in Him and His faithfulness.

You NEED this c.d. TRUST ME

Come Weary Saints
is AMAZING!
It has ministered to my soul so much when waiting for children has proven to be a trial.
The songs are a perfect mix of recognizing my struggle with my circumstances, weary faith, and roller coaster emotions while pointing me to God's Word and refreshing me with the truth that I will rejoice and can rejoice during this time.
I've had it for awhile and have continued to be comforted with songs like:
Hide Away in the Love of Jesus
Oh, the Deep Deep Love
You Have Always Been Faithful
Healing in Your Wings
and I Have a Shelter

I'm challenged by songs like:
As Long as You are Glorified
and It is Not Death to Die

and I these songs help me claim the Truth:
So I Will Trust You
Through the Precious Blood
and Joy in My Morning


YOU NEED THIS C.D.

Tommy Fest 9

a.k.a
The time I bowled a 103 in Elizabethtown (E-town), KY

This past weekend was a milestone for me.
Neil's parents (especially his dad) love these two acoustic guitar players: Doyle Dykes and Tommy Emmanuel. They were playing in Elizabethtown, KY this past weekend at Tommy Fest 9 which is this 'music festival' that they put on each year and Tommy comes and performs 3 shows and also teaches a few clinics. It's a pretty big deal, not just for E-town, but I think also for the acoustic guitar community. Anyway Neil's parents bought tickets and over Christmas Break they invited us to go with them. It was SO kind of them to invite us along! Neil shares his dad's admiration of Doyle Dykes and would listen to his cds while studying in college. So Neil was pretty excited (well, as excited as Neil gets) about going and I was happy to go along since I knew Neil was looking forward to it. I had no idea what to expect since I don't usually listen to instrumental music and was determined to not be bored, which I can selfishly let sink in when I don't understand something or it isn't 'my kind of thing'.

We left from Neil's parents house Saturday morning around10:00 and drove up through back roads to Elizabethtown. It was a very pretty drive, though overcast and cold, but Ginger and I enjoyed the scenery and imagining what it would be like to live in each little town we drove through. We got to Elizabethtown around 2:00 and have time to spare. Craig, Neil's dad, and Neil had each tried to find something to do since we would be there so early on Saturday, but it is safe to say that Elizabethtown isn't a metropolis, though the biggest town we came to between Crossville and E-town itself and despite there is a movie titled Elizabethtown. *Side note: I saw the movie a few years ago when it came out and I don't know what it had to do with the town, but I liked all the actors who played in it.* So, Neil's parents came up with bowling since that was really our only option with it being SO COLD outside. Off we went to E-town Lanes. Now, I am NOT a bowler. I enjoy bowling, but I am consistently the lowest scorer out of the group when I do bowl. BUT NOT ON SATURDAY! It was the dawn of a new day for me and bowling. My first turn up I bowled a STRIKE! I was surprised and then thought, oh great its all downhill from here! We bowled three games, again lots of time to spare, and I got 2nd place twice and 3rd once. I was actual pretty consistent for not knowing what I was doing, but trying to look like I knew what I was doing. On the last game, last frame, Craig told me that if I knocked down 6 or 7 pins I would break 100. I was SO NERVOUS, I've NEVER been that close before! I got a strike! My final score for that game was 103. I took a picture with my phone to memorialize the occasion. Craig, by the way, has the smoothest bowling arm I've ever seen! It's how a professional bowler would bowl, I was mesmerized.
Afterward, we went to eat and had some good home cooking at this family owned restaurant there in E-town. Then off we went to the concert. It was at this performing arts center that is connected to the high school there in county. It was a BEAUTIFUL building! The auditorium was huge and really nice. We had REALLY great seats, dead center. The concert was REALLY GREAT! I have a new appreciation for what a musician can do with an instrument. Tommy Emmanuel was FANTASTIC and it was obvious that he is a 'big deal' in the music world and why. It was fascinating what he could do with the guitar. He has sanded down the end of his guitar and will rub it to created this really cool sound and he knows all the right places to hit and pick his guitar to make certain sounds and create really pretty music. He does covers and has also written his own music. Plus, he sang a LOT more than I was expecting so that helped ignorant novices like me engage with his music. Doyle was very fun to watch as well. Though, not as talented at Tommy, he is still a VERY talented guitar player. He also sang more than I was expecting and even had his daughter, Haley, come out and sing and play the mandolin. I REALLY like her music. Doyle was also very open with his faith and love for Jesus which was really encouraging. The show lasted till 10:30pm! I was SO tired, but really enjoyed it and am so thankful for Neil's parents inviting us along!

"My Husband went to Michigan and all I got was this sweatshirt"

You remember this quote on shirts people would wear? You know the ones that said, "I went to Yellowstone and all I got was this lousy t- shirt." or "My grandparents went to Florida and all I got was this lousy t shirt." You don't remember that. Oh, unh then guess my title for this post is irrelevant. Oh well, I chuckle a little when I think about it. You know what else about this picture and sweatshirt(which by the way I am really happy to have and it was SUPER thoughtful for Neil to buy me a present while he was gone) that makes me chuckle. Lets put some pieces together- Neil went to Michigan for a business trip. While in Michigan Neil was really sweet and bought me this sweatshirt. The sweatshirt is promoting the Chicago Bears. They don't live in Michigan. Neil didn't realize that the Bears weren't a Michigan team until he got back to the hotel and looked at the sweatshirt again. HILARIOUS! Neil really does know that the BEARS aren't a Michigan team and that they are a Chicago team, but I think he was excited about finding a sweatshirt and not thinking about who the Bears were. Last night, when he gave it to me I was so surprised and excited and then while still surprised and excited I was confused. I was thinking, "Wait, Neil was in Michigan, why does this say the Bears and have the C that Chicago uses for their team logos? Is there a Bears team in Michigan? This is the C style the Chicago teams use, right? But Neil was in Michigan." Then he told me the story and I laughed REALLY hard! I feel like this gives just a little glimpse into one of the hilarities about Neil and me. I think the best way to sum it up is something some friends of ours said about us, "Monica would rather watch the 'big game' while Neil would rather watch Fiddler on the Roof." Anyway, so the sweatshirt story is even more funny to me because of our differences. BUT I REALLY LOVE THAT HE GOT ME SWEATSHIRT. It was really fun and thoughtful of him to bring me home a present. I jokingly told him when he left to bring me back something like snow globe. He doesn't have to leave town much, but man I hate it when he does!

Here is what I found waiting for me when I fixed breakfast the morning he left.

This isn't an unusual occurrence. Neil is really great at writing me little notes of encouragement randomly, but frequently and hiding them for me to find throughout my day. Here is another one that he wrote me a few weeks ago, but I hadn't moved yet:He had done this throughout our marriage and it is one of my favorite things and one of the things I really love about him. I seriously get giddy every time I find one! He has always been the "note writer" in our relationship. Even when we were dating he would write me letters and mail them. And yes, I have kept EVERY letter and note he has ever written me. I'm trying to grow in writing notes to him, but its harder for me to hide them from him. I tried this time when he went out of town and put it in a notebook in his backpack. But he never opened the notebook so he never found the note. I had to ask him last night if he read it and he didn't know what I was talking about. HAHA, oh well, I'll try a different place next time!

Did I mention that I really love the sweatshirt?
Hope you guys have a great weekend!