Monday, May 24, 2010

Sunday Priorities

Making sure my underwear and bra match should probably not be a major priority on Sunday mornings... especially when its a nice turquoise bra, because when it is and I wear a sleeveless shirt I forget to consider if my bra straps are going to be slipping out of their proper places ALL MORNING LONG! And I don't consider this until we are already parked at church(which is 20-25 mins. away) and I realize my straps have already slipped out to say hello... Then I have to have the best posture known to man into order to keep them in place and check them every 10 mins. because I don't really like other people to know I am wearing a turquoise bra.
"Why not go to the bathroom and adjust them?" you may ask. Well because its not that they are too loose but because they just like to shift around when I move AND because I didn't think of that. Don't judge me. :) And it's probably not a big deal, but I definitely don't think it modest either.
Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting your undergarments to match, especially when you are married and someone other than yourself (preferably your husband) sees them, but I probably should also consider my wardrobe in light of the undergarments I'm wearing or vice versa or something to that effect... anyway, lesson learned-for now. K, thats all!

Friday, May 21, 2010

A PURPLE KITCHEN?!

Well, we have officially said 'Goodbye' to our apartment and said 'Hello' to our house. We moved in last weekend and are almost unpacked. There is nothing on the walls, yet and I don't think Neil and I are too quick to hang things up either. We'll get to it eventually. Neil has already mowed the yard and I've made my list of 'Home Projects' that ranges from simple things I can do during the day such as paint the front door or make curtains to saving up for new counter tops in the kitchen (I think this is just a dream). Neil and I have enjoyed living in the house, but it wasn't this idea that consumed us. Its just the place that we live now. We lived in an apartment last week that we loved, but now we live in a house and we like it also. However, I can see the 'I wantsies' creeping in because I want to decorate and spend money, but I'll deal with that 'heart stuff' later. For now... here are pictures of our house! Enjoy! We sure do!






































































Tour Guide: Front of house, view of Living Room from Front door, side of living room. Kitchen, Dinette area of Kitchen. Kitchen and appliances. Hall to Hall Bathroom. Hall Bathroom. Guest Room/Office/T.V. room. 3rd Bedroom, a.k.a storage room, a.k.a future kids room. Hall to Master Bedroom, Master Bedroom, and Master Bedroom to Master bath. Master Bathroom. Last but not least, the laundry room which leads to the garage. I forgot to take pictures of the back yard and deck, but they exist.

Yes, our Kitchen is purple. And Yes, that was on purpose. I wanted something fun and bright for the kitchen since I'm going to be in it A LOT. I thought of the purple, blue, brown scheme before we ever started looking for houses and Neil was very encouraging of the idea. Everyone else's responses to the idea have been very skeptical. But so far when people see it they really like it and if they don't they are nice about it. Besides, its my kitchen that God has given me and I think it gives God joy when we delight in our homes and having a purple kitchen delights me, and Neil.
The green laundry room was a mutual idea, the BRIGHT GREEN laundry room was more Neil's idea... but i like it now. I think it still surprises me that we have a bright green laundry room... I mean it radiates off people's clothes!-seriously. It will be interesting to decorate it, but I'm up for the challenge.
I'm really thankful Neil likes color and bright ones at that (something I learned about him during the painting picking process) and he is so supportive and encouraging about the paint colors we picked out. Just another example of being 'peas and carrots'.
Anyway, we take guests anytime! Come on over!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

My Mothers

Sunday is Mother's Day and I want to write about my three mothers, so I will.

My Momma:


Isn't she was beautiful? She died 3 1/2 years ago from cancer. I can't believe it's been three years. It seems so long and short at the same time. I really miss her and have really been missing her lately. Probably because its Mother's Day. I think this is the first Mother's Day (and year) that I've really missed her and realized she's gone. Probably because I'm not so busy anymore and there is time to think about her or realize I am thinking about her. I picked these pictures of her because I really like them. The first is of my parents on their wedding day. They look so happy and I love that my dad is wearing a white tux with a ruffly shirt and bow-tie, he is the man! I like my mom's dress. I like the lace and the cameo, very Victorian. The next picture is probably when I was five. I like that she is wearing two shades of purple, it was her favorite color. And her hair is in really tight curls, I remember when her hair was like that. I don't think she had a perm, it was just like that. The third picture is from my freshman year of college, a year before she got sick. I know this because of the necklace I have on in the picture. I like this picture because I think my mom looks really dignified and sophisticated. I found some journals of hers when I was cleaning out two trunks my dad gave me recently. They are from when she was first sick. I had forgotten all about them. I want to read them. I know they will probably cause me to relive all the cancer again, but I think it might be good. I want to know her thoughts from that time. Its like I will really get to share that time with her again. Learn more about what was happening because I was away at school most of the time and I didn't really know all the facts (and in shock). Which I think was God's grace for me at the time.
I'm really thankful for my mom, she was a really great mom. She loved me and supported me. She enjoyed spending time with me. She taught me how to be independent and she listened to me. She sacrificed for me. I like looking at these pictures of her so I do. I don't like looking at the pictures of her being sick, so I don't. I wish so much that she could be alive and see my life now. I wish that she could know Neil, I think she would really like him. I wish I could talk to her and get her advice on recipes or how to clean well. I wish that I could get to tell her one day (not now) that I'm pregnant(I'm NOT now, just making it clear) because she would have been a good grandmother. I just miss her.

My Step-Mother:
I really like my step-mom and I'm VERY thankful for her! I don't really think of her as a "step-mom". She's Jackie and I like her. I wasn't a fan of her at first. Well, it wasn't anything about her-i liked her, I just didn't like the "idea" of a step-mom. But I like her. She has been a blessing for both my dad and me. She's a really good wife for my dad because she enjoys doing things. They go do things together, especially play golf. She has been nothing but loving, supportive, and kind to me. She calls me 'my dear' whenever she first talks to me or sees me and I really like it! "Hello, my dear!" She treats me as her own daughter which is really nice. I enjoy being with her and learning from her.

My Mother-in-law:
I am SO thankful for my mother-in-law. She is an answered prayer and a wonderful blessing. I forget that I'm "just a daughter-in-law" at times because I feel so much like one of her own. People even say we look alike! (Which is kind of weird since i married her son. Does that mean Neil and I look alike? I don't think so.) It has been so fun to get to know her and learn from her. Those things I wish I could ask my mom now, I can ask her. She is a great example of a godly woman and she loves her family so well. She's a GREAT cook, serves the socks off her family, has home schooled all 5 of her kids, sews, and serves at their church. She has been really encouraging to me since Neil and I have been married. She has 'stayed at home' since she got married to Neil's dad. It's been helpful to hear her experiences from that time. She is realistic about some of Neil's 'quirks' and it has been fun to laugh with her about them. We talk on the phone at least once a week and have been since Neil and I have been engaged. Its such a blessing to have her as a mother-in-law, this little blurb doesn't do her justice.

I'm so thankful and am so blessed to have these three women in my life as mothers to me of some sort. They each are God's gifts to me of grace to teach me how to be a woman, wife, and servant of God. I just wanted to share them with you. That's all.

Happy Mother's Day~

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Oh,Caroline Ingalls

I think I finally realized, a few weeks ago, why being a "stay at home wife" has been SO difficult for me these last 10 months. Its because I've been operating out of a secular worldview. A worldview that has been infiltrated with Feminism. A worldview that says to me, working & a career take first priority and family is second or last priority. I've believed this lie without even knowing it. That's why I've never thought about staying home before, until I got married and Neil wanted me to. I would not say I was some "hyper career" woman that was wanting to be this huge success. I didn't want to be a CEO or break some 'glass ceiling', I just figured I would work because "that's what 'normal' people do." That's what my mom did, so why wouldn't I do that? To me, staying at home was an option for the wealthy, not a choice for the average family.

Besides, what would I "do"? Well, I've spent my whole marriage, all 1o months, asking this question to anyone who would listen. "What do I do with this 'stay at home' stuff?" "How did this happen?" "What does it mean to be a godly woman and wife?" "Does it mean that I have to become Caroline Ingalls' of Little House on the Prairie? I mean, I like Caroline Ingalls, but I don't really want to be her (but I think Neil would look very attractive in the clothes Charles Ingalls wore).

Does being a 'stay at home wife' mean I've got to grow my own garden, grind my own wheat, sew my own clothes, cook organically, scrapbook, or coupon? What if I don't want to do some of those things? Is it not godly to work? Is it only godly to stay home? (please say no!)"
Yes, I really asked about Caroline Ingalls . And No, godliness has nothing to do with working or staying at home, but everything to do with your heart and your priorities. My heart was still operating out of a secular worldview that had been deeply effected by Feminism. I valued working over family, but I wouldn't have ever said that out loud. I didn't know I believed these things until working wasn't an option anymore, at least for now. I thought being a stressed out wife was normal. And I think that is normal, for some people-whether by choice or circumstance. I did not realize that I hadn't been viewing my role as a wife in a Biblical way until the end of March. I attended a women's conference in Chattanooga with one of my bfs, Lacy. I was really going to spend time with Lacy and wasn't looking forward to hearing them talk about "Biblical Womanhood" (if they were just going to talk about 'taking care of the home' the whole time.) But they didn't! I mean, they did talk about Biblical Womanhood and they taught from Genesis and Titus 2 but it was so freeing for me because I realized that God had been answering my question of "what do I do?" the whole time.

God has created Neil as a male. God has created me as a female. God has created our gender roles. He said males are to lead and females are to help men lead and that involves submission. God has also created marriage where these roles of leading and helping are magnified and displayed the most. In Titus 2:3-5, God also says that I am to 'love my husband and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to my husband, so that no one will malign the word of God.' So, what I should be doing is these things- love Neil, pursue growing in self-control and purity, be busy at home, kind, and submit to Neil so that God's word can be advanced.

Being a godly wife isn't about if I work or not, if I sew, grind my own wheat, eat and cook organically, have a garden, scrapbook, or coupon but about obedience to God. God in his word as told me to submit to Neil's leadership and that family is a godly priority. Neil has led me to stay home because he sees it has best for our family. I have close friends who are married and work full time (and aren't always stressed out). Their husbands have led them to work and it helps them keep their families as first priority. I really respect them and other women that are able to both work and keep their families as first priority. Women could 'stay at home' and their families would still not be first priority. Their hobbies or their time could take priority above their family and that isn't pleasing to God.

Feminism has made the argument about whether a woman works or not, God has not made that argument. The Proverbs 31 woman worked with eager hands, she bought a field, sold things in the market, opened her arms and hand to the poor and needy, and watched over her household.
All these things were to the glory of God because her first priority in all of it was her family. Feminism has said that God and the Bible are close minded and keeping women 'boxed' in. But Feminism has really 'boxed' women in to finding their significance and identity in a career. God's word and design for a woman is SO freeing to the believer because it doesn't 'box' you in.

I have friends that coupon, scrapbook, and have gardens. I am learning to sew and I try to cook healthy, not necessarily organic, just healthy. None of these things give my friends or me approval before God, but we do them because they help our families and/or we enjoy them. I don't coupon because it wouldn't really save my family money in this stage of our lives. I don't scrapbook because it stresses me out and I don't have a garden because we currently live in an apartment. I might start a garden when we move to our house, if Neil supports it and it helps our family...

Its about what has first priority in my life. Does loving God by serving my family take first priority or does loving myself by pursuing my own agenda (career, hobby, or selfish gain) take first priority? Loving God and serving my family could one day mean that I have a job outside of my home, but it doesn't look that way right now. I can't work and view my family as my first priority. Right now, I'm a stay at home wife and this is where God has me.